melodicalchemy

sapphire This is the latest playlist that I've put together. It was made with love and care. I took the time to listen to every single track in it. It took a lot of gas, since my preferred method is listening to music while driving. Enjoy

And this is the world I'm left with? Secluded and constantly, chronically lonely? Where everyone has a +1 and I'm at -100. I'm left to grieve the relationships that have degraded so much and listen to my music as a hermit in this vast expanse. With one good friend, two supportive parents, but none else but them to assuage my sorrows, placing me as role of listener without end. to have all necessities and many luxuries but no ability to enjoy them. to feel like I'm regressing and moving in retrograde to achieve goals that are achieved easily by others. To be at the center of my universe, but not present at all in many peoples' orbits of their own lives. To exist in a mind, of its own place, which makes things not just into a hell or heaven but a reality far removed from that which truly exists. to not knowing what the right thing to do is at any given point in time. nursing the notion that everything is meaningless, truly meaningless, devoid of any true values and la...

Good morning fellow humans. Happy November! The rain yesterday really capitalized the transition into Winter. October was HOT. An update from me: I recently hit 100 days sober! It hurt, a lot. But all those repressed emotions and thoughts had to be processed eventually. This is the longest I've ever been sober I think, aside from when I first started using. Before, I had trouble even hitting 3-9 days. I've been going to school again following a really hard time in my life. I feel like alien sometimes. Anyone else feel old already? I'm 27 and I think about my age a lot. My 20s zoomed right past me, and I had fun, but I'm close to reaching the next stage in my life, so I have to get ready for that. The days have started to regain their sparkle the same way they have in the past. Each day has its own flavor. Probably something about getting to move through this world uninhibited. Music has been a faithful ally. Through all the times.